Life as a writer

I've been sitting in limbo, wanting to but not fully trusting myself and my guiding thoughts, when I am calm, I know what I want to do - I know who I am and where I'm going. Then life kicks in, day to day routine as I've not yet finished this job and within a month I am feeling stuck, unsure and afraid. Amazing what an environment can do to you, how it can sap the motivational spark out of you despite all your best efforts. I'm often so drained in the evening I just want to relax, the get-up-and-go energy takes 2-3 days to kick back and and by then I'm back in the office again...

I remember being in Morocco on holiday this summer (NEA), feeling so relaxed and at ease, like anything was possible. Like all the dreams and ideas that I have can be realised, then sitting at the same desk, day in day out, quiet, albiet with good company and within no time I am withdrawn and unsure - fascinating :) Fascinating because I know its happening and yet almost powerless to stop it in that environment.

It got me thinking that whilst I trust that we, I and you, know whats good for us deep down there is still this environmental effect.Why is it that we so rarely trust in our own thoughts and are yet far quicker to believe in the thoughts and confirmation of others. Despite the personal reflections, thoughts, and determination it still isn't easy to walk my path and take those necessary steps towards walking in the path of best fit with the right components and right people.

This picture was taken by a friend of mine (CR) on a holiday to her home in Germany. On seeing it, I knew my next blog entry was complete.